True Love and Sacrifice

Originally, I wanted to write about the last week and a half- an unexpected air conditioning problem that cost me $510, a trip to Washington, DC to see a good friend, and a surprise overnight at the Atlanta Airport because of bad weather- all things that have me up in arms to get back to my daily grind and flow of things. Life interfering with life, I guess.

But today, I just have to write about this picture. Yesterday was my 28th birthday. As I was about to start the daily pilates routine that was finally the fruit of my "absence of labor" (me learning how to say no to things), I received this photograph on my Blackberry. With it was a note of thanks and gratitude for me being his wife and the title of the attachment was "Happy Birthday, My Love."

I can't think of anything more meaningful to me at this moment in my life. Not a single thing. I can't imagine a more beautiful gift than the thought of my manly husband, surrounded by other manly men who want to appear even more manly in the call of duty, using not one, but two magic markers (red, in order to emphasize a HEART, of all things) and then standing in the middle of a courtyard?- I'm not sure- of barracading walls to be photographed by his closest friend. Humbling, isn't it?

Later, I got a phone call from him too. I never thought the two best birthday presents I ever received would be an email and a phone call. We talked for 23 minutes, the longest conversation we have had since he has been in-country. The past month (yes, month!) has been interesting to say the least. For the first week and a half we talked two to three times a day. He was still stateside at that point and I must say it helped in my grieving to still have constant communication. Since he has been "in-theater," we are down to phone calls about twice a week and emails maybe three times during a week. I told him never to say he is "going to call" at a specific date/time. I would worry too much if I didn't hear from him.

It's amazing how our circumstances can change an entire outlook on life. I was new to all of this a few weeks ago when I met Mom in Franklin, Tennessee for dinner (flea market weekend). I remember looking around that little town at all the people, out for dinner, enjoying the cool night air and having drinks. I thought to myself, THIS is what he is fighting for, and trying to give those people. THIS is what we take for granted. I can't help but feel a little more fulfilled in what my life offers right now. I can't help but think of what sacrifices have been made so we could be the country we are. I think so often we focus on what we don't have and so little on what we do.

When I walk through the grocery store, I look at expiration dates. When the box of crackers says it's good until November, I think, "That's only 3 months before he comes home. I can make it longer than a box of crackers." I measure everything in dates. It's called self-soothing. It's what babies do when they are learning to sleep on their own or comfort themselves in a time of need. If I were to be given what I wanted right when I wanted it, I would never learn how to become reliant on myself. After all, it is always after a sacrifice that we come out feeling the most successful.

What kind of people would we be if we all got something for nothing?